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  • Douglas Daech


    Born near Detroit Michigan and transplanted to Tampa Florida in 1982, where he located the story called “Steeling Time”, the author now resides in Russellville, Kentucky.

    His past experience includes articles in the Tripolitan, (Journal of the Tripoli Rocket Association, June 1991) and TRASH (Tampa Regional Aero-Space Hobbyist). In 1993 and 1994 many articles were published in the Unauthorized Launch, the Tampa Tripoli High Power Rocket Club newsletter. A science fiction piece was also presented in the online magazine NTH Degree (May, 2004). Also, an award for creative nonfiction was granted in the 2007 Frank and Cellia Conley Writing Contest at Western Kentucky University

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And now for something completely different…

Satire, it is a form of humor. You need to take it with a grain of salt, and not all people can develop a taste for it. Satire can infuriate one person and bring another person to laugh out loud. It is the use of humor to expose and criticize stupidity or faults in a person, organization or culture.

It’s been around for a long time. I believe the best example of satire is Jonathan Swift’s A Modest Proposal. It was published way back in 1729. In this example, he was criticizing the government. That was a dangerous thing to do! In using satire, he got the message across with a lesser risk of upsetting authorities. As I understand it, at that time the government was not helping the poor Irish common man. In fact, they seemed to be working against any possibility of prosperity for the lower class.

In this piece, Swift proposes that the poor children of Ireland be sold as food stock. He claims that this would free the poor parents of burden and it would supply food to those who could afford it. He supported his proposal with portioning guidelines and recipes. He offered sound logic and historical references. Swift conveyed his proposal so well, and with such seriousness, it almost seemed as if he believed it a sound option.

With satire in mind and a cell phone full of games in hand, this came to mind. My goal was to poke fun at the amount of time spent playing game apps and stereotype the rural mountain folk in the area of Kentucky I call home.

NEWSFLASH!

The Russellville Journal of Neuroscience announced yesterday the findings of Professor Wendy Anus regarding brain development in test subjects addicted to handheld electronic devices.

To ensure a broad spectrum pool of research participants, subjects ranged from infants to the elderly in a wide variety of incomes, education levels, and sexual orientations. The end results of Professor Anus’s findings stirred the review board.

Anus put forth her conclusion that addiction to hand-held devices is more than a habit. Physical and chemical changes occur with prolonged exposure and use of such electronic tools. Her findings showed abnormal brain development, shrinkage and in extreme cases complete loss.

“Games such as Roller, Blink, Candy Munch and Worms are fun when taken in small doses,” Anus claims, “but long term exposure will do harm.” MRI scanning of subjects using devices has shown a decrease of middle brain activity and a saturation of Serotonin. Both findings are characteristics of alcohol and drug addiction. Also Professor Anus claims subjects often experienced an increase in thumb cramps.

“In cases of prolonged use,” the professor states, “shrinkage of the brain has been observed.” Three test subjects actually had no brain. Test subjects who have lost their mind are rare, but not new. “The Scientific Process sees all kinds,” Anus says. “It is unclear how much of a brain participants started with, considering the location of the research in southern Kentucky.”

Wendy Anus has been studying side effects on humans caused by technology in culture for almost three weeks. Prior research projects include comparing characteristics of fast food consumers and the study of inbreeding in rural areas with her husband/uncle. “Research projects are limited in my area,” she explained. Her report will be published in the Russellville Journal of Neuroscience when she corrects the spelling of the longer words.

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